Saturday, April 2, 2011


What Does Chinese Think of Malays?

Adapted from Malaysian Chinese Society Triads

1. You Malays call each other 'jahil' for fun, and too 'jahil' to realize it's an offensive word.
2. You're the LAZIEST PERSONS on God's earth.
3. Always up-to-date with lagu-lagu A-minor, lagu-lagu rindu and wayang hindustan.
4. Always give a very long honourable speech starting from Duli Yang Maha Mulia, Tan Sri, Puan Sri, YB-YB, Yang Berbahagia Datuk, Datuk-Datuk, Datin-Datin, Tuan Haji, Tuan Pengerusi Majlis... and last sometime least.... rakyat jelata sekalian... terlebih dahulu saya ingin membuka majlis dengan blablablabla......
5. Many Malays ended at pusat serenti for common drug abuse.
6. Air sirap is the cheapest drink you can afford.
7. You like to tease and act pervertedly when someone with sexual appeal passes by.
8. You self proclaim from a superior race (Arabs).
9. You love to eat, especially free food.
10. Malays favourite quote "Rezeki jangan ditolak."
11. Malays least favourite words "Janji Melayu."
12. Your girls got a mouthfull of chicken's ass (loudmouths).
13. You can't stand it and always keep on staring at someones who are better dressing rather than your back-dated looks.
14. You wear your shirt more than 4 times before washing it.
15. You feel it's not right to eat first before everybody gets their meal (while your meal is getting cold).
16. You got that annoying habit of wanting people to acknowledge you.
17. You know for the fact that you are superstitious (bomohs and dukuns).
18. You know for the fact that Malays jokes are decently lame and you always force yourself to laugh when other Malays telling their lame jokes.
19. You always try to take advantage on other people's works.
20. You are trained to be a sweet talker.
21. You love to offer drinks to your boss while polishing his shoe.
22. You always pick on juniors.
23. You don't care if everyone in your class/office know for the fact that you are LAZY.
24. You are very protective on your seniority.
25. You are quite a slow thinker.
26. You prefer to borrow people's stuff rather than buy it, but hardly return it back.
27. You also always use other's property without asking permission.
28. Many of you are not sincere when making friend with non-malays.
29. Malay most popular ambition; to the public, ingin menjadi seorang insan yang berguna. In reality, to be a clerk, despatch, factory worker.
30. Gossips are number 1 favourite past time.
31. Malays' favourite magazines are URTV, Mangga, Jelita, Remaja and Variasari.
32. Mark as bangsa pendengki by other race in Malaysia.
33. When someone giving a speech, a Malay usually will nod their head (kepala terangguk-angguk) not to show that they understand, but just simply to act that they understand in a serious manner.
34. Deep in the eyes of Malays, the meaning of tersipu-sipu bahasa and malu-malu kucing are great appetite with a vangeance.
35. Malays have less friends of other races because Malays are too proud of their own language which makes them stuck-up. Malay also ignore that other ethnic groups and foreign people are willing to learn to speak in Malay while got other knowledge in other language. (so now you know why this email is written in English)
36. In Malaysia, people said wear condom and don't forget to take a bath with Dettol if you make love to a Malay.
37. An example of a Malay with good grades Straight C-
38. Malay bosses common in intimidating his staff, sexual harassing and blackmailing. They welcome more family members and friends to join the company (cronies). Too much Corruption and always bring company's item home for personal use.
39. Malays, as the biggest population in Malaysia, are always feeling threatened with the minority Christian in the country.
40. Malay chicks always dream to have sex with White Man but always ended up getting f*cked by their own species. (Sorry if this offended you, but it's a promise)
41. Most babies found in the bushes and dustbin are Malay.
42. Most adultery/incest cases are by Malays.
43. Most divorce cases are by Malay couples.
44. Most yuppie wannabes are Malays.
45. Malay men have the habit of using sink/wash hand area to rinse and wash their penis mostly in their bathroom, hostel and also in the public toilet.
46. Malays love to make fun at people who use toilet paper to wipe ass because they love to touch their sh*t with their hand.
47. Malay knows that other races could not dare to eat Malay foods not because of the spices but because the food is processed by their ass-wiping-hand.
48. Malays use toilet paper in Malay restaurant / food court / warong to wipe customer's mouth and hand.
49. A typical Malay ready-to-wear; a long, torn jeans, T-shirt and a pair of loafers.
50. Malays can't live without rice and chilli.
51. A Malay who checks in a foreign hotel will cook his/her food inside the hotel room with water boiler and a portable mini cooker to save cost.
52. Malays know their favourite fast food; KFC hot and spicy.
53. Malay will eat fried chicken and burger just like in the manner of eating rice with hand one hand lean on the table, slouching head to the plate and other hand with finger close to each other to enter mouth.
54. Malay toilets always smell like petai.
55. Malays love to remind people to have their morning shower but they themselves always ended up having body odour in the afternoon.
56. Backstabbing are Malays' greatest asset.
57. Cheating in examination or test are hereditary.
58. Malays' favourite brands are G.A Blue Jeans, Lady-like Jeans, a fake Ray-ban.
59. Upper class Malays' favourite brand are the cheapest Versace t-shirt, Malboro Classic sometimes fake sometimes not jeans, an old fashion (erik estrada CHIPS) Ray-Ban glasses and a discount sales Mark and Spencer.
60. Weekends are like a racing paradise for Mat Rempit.
61. Malays never learn to accept people's opinion as guides or challenges.
62. You feel that you need to support Muslim terrorists just because they are Islam and not because they are serial killers.
63. Malays' favourite living concept "biar perut kosong asalkan rumah cantik macam istana."
64. The only musical instrument you can play is a gitar kapok.
65. You Malays will pretend to ignore and deny that you are typical and cliche.
66. You Malays dream to become rich, but not by hard working or studying but with all kinds of Skim Cepat Kaya and STUPID Multi-Level Marketing businesses.
67. Don't have money but always want to act; buying cars like Waja, Wira and other expensive cars while you know you can only afford a Kapcai.
68. Parents are very rich but still go overseas using government scholarship. Go overseas to enjoy and not to study.
69. You will start wondering about yourself after reading this!

kinda offensive?